Jan 21

I’ll never forget that day.  My mom and dad had not yet returned from work, so my brother took me.  His silver Thunderbird thumped along to The Cars.  We neither one spoke.  I was too anxious.  He was a man of few words.  I can still feel the velour seats as we pulled up to my Junior High School.  I hopped out and jogged to the gaggle of girls jumping and squealing.  I squeezed my way to the front and scanned down the names neatly penned in bubbly letters on a large white poster board.


I was not on it.


I read each name again, hoping I had casually glanced over my own name, knowing I hadn’t.  Not me.  I would not be on the B-team cheerleading squad this year.  I pasted a plastic smile on my face to cover the rejection I felt and tried to make myself as small as possible.  I maneuvered my way back out of the crowd eager to make a quick get-away.  I jogged back to the car, pulled open the long heavy door, and slinked into the seat. 


“Did you make it?”  Those were the only words my brother uttered the entire trip there and back.  “No.”  My face spoke more than I was willing to say.  He cranked up the music, peeled out of the parking lot and said with his car what his words could not. 


I was dejected.  Rejected.  Unwanted.  It wasn’t the first, and it wasn’t the last.  Rejection happens daily.  In the closet of fears, rejection is one of the biggest.  It gives no thought of race, sex, religion, or political affiliation.  We are all rejected at some time or another.  If it is inevitable, why then does it cut us to the bone?  How should Christians feel when rejected?  Is it okay to be sad if what we wished for was not God’s will anyway?


How should Christians feel when they are rejected?


Let’s start by answering the first question.  How should Christians feel when they are rejected?  However they want.  When rejection of any sort comes my way, I feel sad.  Very sad.  Not everyone handles rejection the same way, so perhaps dismissal elicits another emotion from you. 


Is it okay to be sad if what we wished for was not God’s will anyway?  


Yes.  Let me explain by telling you a story about my children.  One night my daughter wanted a box of raisins.  I asked her to get her brother one, as well.  A few minutes later she returned with the raisins and tossed a box to her brother – right in his eye.  My son came crying to me, rubbing his now red eye with my daughter trailing behind.  “I didn’t mean to hurt you.  I’m sorry, Colin,” my daughter offered her sheepish apology.  “That’s okay,” my son muttered between snuffles and tears. 


You see, he didn’t say he was not in pain.  He was saying it was okay that it happened.  He was acknowledging he knew she didn’t mean to hurt him.  But he was still crying.  He was hurt. When God says no or not this way, and it comes in the form of rejection, it’s okay to feel sad.  Being sad or mad or whatever feeling that comes with rejection doesn’t mean that we are not accepting God’s plan for us.  It just means that, like Colin, we are still hurting a little bit.  We are human.  Hurting when you’ve been rejected or dismissed is natural.  Take some time to be sad, and then move on.


My uncle once told me that rejection elicits one four-letter word.  I very carefully asked which one.  “Next” he responded with a smile.  What a great thought.  Next.  After you’ve had some time to accept the news, adopt the “next” attitude and focus on what you’ll do in the time that follows.    


The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone.  (Psalm 118:11 NIV)


Christ was rejected, yet He became the capstone.  One definition of capstone is a building material consisting of a piece of rock hewn in a definite shape for a special purpose.  Perhaps you were rejected as a simple building brick because God was defining you for a special purpose instead. 



Have you been rejected, discarded, or cast-off?  It’s okay to be a little depressed.  Give yourself permission, but don’t stay there.  Embrace where you are and give a little shout, “Next.”  The next place God takes you might just be beyond anything you could imagine.  



**Thank you for all of the birthday wishes for my grandmother.  She is loving them.  It’s not too late, if you’d like to send her well wishes scroll down to the next post and leave a comment.  I’ll be sure she hears them.

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  • LAURIE Jan 21 at 2:47 pm

    Wonderful post today. Rejection is something that we all have dealt with and deal with probably day to day. The focus isn’t so much on THE rejection as it is how we REACT to the rejection. Jesus was rejected and He was a perfect man so why should we be surprised that we too will be rejected on this earth. Thanks for sharing today.

  • Carmen Jan 21 at 3:08 pm

    THis is a wonderful post, Carol. Rejection…but most importantly, how we handle it, is God’s tool for building the character of Christ in us…and that means something within us dies…which as you said, hurts.

    I dealt with so much rejection in my early and teen and young adult years, that led to even more rejection because I did not handle it God’s way and I certainly didn’t learn from it. That’s all I wanted, it seemed, was the praise of mankind..

    Today, I see that God uses rejection in our lives to help us not crave the praise of fickle men (since that is a snare). It works, too!

    Shalom sista!

  • Chatty Kelly Jan 21 at 7:34 pm

    I love this. We’ve all felt the sting of rejection in some area of our lives. But we’ve not been rejected and crucified. God is good.

    Really good post today.

  • Cheri Jan 22 at 4:20 pm

    loved it!

  • Peggy Jan 22 at 10:44 pm

    Blessings Carol…I know it's been a long time, way to long since I left a comment…I am so sorry but I am reading your excellent posts, except the last one I read was BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL and laughed & laughed

    No, I'm not rejecting you! I'm the one with a rejection problem.

    As usual, this was such a delight to read…well, kinda…it was something that I could really relate to and you write so well!

    I love your comments as well!

    Rejection…cheerleading…hot cars…big brothers…peel out…your children's example…
    your uncle's 4 letter word NEXT!

    You tied it all together in a nice bundle and plus you asked the BIG questions & application to our Christian walk & response. And you gave us a good answer from God!

    Rejection has never been easy for me to deal with…and I probably never dealt with it as God would like me to have responded. I easily fall into depression. I think I remember someone pointing out that
    "rejection" is a root sin…along with rebellion, bitterness, etc.
    I always wondered about this. I
    tried very hard to be a people pleaser to avoid any kind of rejection. I wonder if perhaps I was rejected as a simple building brick because God had a special purpose in defining me & build me one refined brick at a time, strengthening my character in an attitude of "NEXT". So thanks Carol…Love ya' & be blessed as you BLESS me…thanks for your 2 recent visits. Now I don't feel rejected(lol)

    Oh and Lord…Next? Thank You!

  • Melanie @ This Ain't New York Jan 22 at 11:32 pm

    Great post. I am in the middle of the Esther study and we touched on this today in our group time.

  • ocean mommy Jan 23 at 1:07 am

    SO Cool. I posted on Rejection yesterday too! It really seems to be something that I keep hearing over and over…it breaks my heart to see so many women struggling with this….

    Love you girl I MISS you!

  • Missy @ It's Almost Naptime Jan 25 at 7:42 pm

    Oh. I did not make cheerleader the day that the Challenger blew up. Such a crummy day.

    I like your dad’s quote – reminds me of one of my fave quotes: “Failure is not in the falling down, it is in the staying down.”

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