Colin has some of the best Sunday School teachers this year. The Bible stories he learns are really sticking with him. He often recounts them on the way home from church. Lately, he has even brought them up in real world situations as examples. I call this the Bible according to Colin. Let me help you understand.
The Ten Commandments According to ColinDec 2
A couple of weeks ago, Colin told me that he didn’t want to get rid of me but wished Daddy would marry another wife that liked dogs. (Much to my children’s disappointment, I am NOT an animal lover.) Colin saw this as a way of introducing four-legged friends into the family. I explained that a man can only have one wife. Colin assured me that I was mistaken, and “that” he said was a fact. For Jacob, he had just learned the previous week in Sunday School, had two wives – Rachel and Leah. And God knew all about it, and it was okay.
Then there was the afternoon that I found Colin standing forlorn at the bathroom mirror. When I asked what was wrong, his face turned from sad to mad. “I don’t know why you had to cut my hair anyway!” He yelled and turned to slump into his room. “Colin, what are you talking about?” I questioned him. “If you had never cut my hair, I would be stronger than a super-hero, but now I’m just weak.”
OOOHHH! I understood. He had just learned about the story of Samson. I tell you this to say that when Colin said today after church that he learned all ten commandments and wanted to tell me about them, you understand why I got out a paper and pen.
So, after I spent some time up the hill at Kroger’s gas and go (we were pumping gas when he told me) I came down with the Hebron tablet, AKA, the church bulletin with the following ten commandments scribbled on the back:
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS according to Colin
1. God is first place. He is always number one. (How true, how true.)
2. Don’t worship another idol.
3. Don’t say God’s name in vain.
4. Don’t go playing something before church and, like, get so busy doing it you forget to go to church…like if you have a boat and you are out riding it before church, you just shouldn’t do that. Just don’t be playing with a bunch of stuff before church. (Sorry, to all you Sunday morning boat riders out there.)
5. Honor your parents. (“Colin, do you know what this one means?” “Yeah, I think that you are supposed to do everything your parents ask so they don’t have to do so much stuff.” Um-hmm.)
6. Don’t go shooting someone on purpose if he’s not a bad guy. (Stick to shooting bad guys, not good guys. If you do shoot someone, make sure it is an accident.)
7. Stay with your own caddy. Like if you are playing golf and you have a caddy, don’t get someone else’s caddy. Just use yours. (I have no words for this one. Colin said it best – stick with your own caddy!)
8. Don’t steal. Like if you build a snowman outside and you go inside to get buttons to put on it, then someone shouldn’t come by and take the buttons off of your snowman. That would be stealing. (That goes for the carrot nose, too!)
9. Don’t tell lies. (I’m thinking, Colin did you hang from that towel hook? “No, I didn’t.”)
10. Don’t be jealous. (This will come in handy the next time I hear, she got five m&m’s and I only got four.)
The funny thing is Colin knew them all by number. If you asked him what number seven was, he would tell you every time that you should only use your own caddy. Colin did ask why I was writing them down. I told him I wanted to remember them forever. Oh, that we all would come away from church with so much! So, if you were thinking about grabbing the buttons off of a snowman that doesn’t belong to you before hopping into your boat for a ride on the way to the golf course to use someone else’s caddy on a Sunday – think again!