Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. Song of Solomon 2:15 NIV
What one thing about your spouse would you like to change? It could be anything from the way they look to the way they eat. Maybe you want them to be neater, bolder, friendlier to the neighbors, or more accepting of your family. Take a moment and think about it. Now comes the hard part. Pose that same question to your spouse about you. Ask only when you actually have time to discuss it. (Which probably means not in the car with little loud talking people in the backseat. Take my word for it. Not a good time.)
This was one of the many questions Alan and I had to answer when we were in training to be marriage mentors. Alan said he would like for me to be more open about trying new things to eat, such as seafood and sushi. He also wished I liked dogs. Why couldn’t he have picked something simpler like cooking more often or ironing his clothes before they get hung in the closet. Or maybe if he had wished for me to start checking his pockets before his pants go into the wash, we would be two cell phones richer.
Nope, sushi and dogs. I’m really trying to work on the dog thing. It’s just that they are so hairy and smelly and saliva-y. Now, here’s the rub. I wanted to change Alan so that he would not want to eat weird things from the ocean or pine for four-legged friends. Therein lies the problem. Could we meet in the middle with fish sticks and a Webkinz stuffed dog?
All kidding aside, how well do you communicate with your spouse? Communication is the key to any successful marriage. I encourage you to take some time to host a survey. Survey your marriage. Find out the things that bother your spouse and share the things that bother you. I don’t mean for you to nitpick your spouse. There is nothing constructive about that. I mean for you to take some time to find out how each of you feels about your marriage. Make sure there are no little foxes trying to ruin the beautiful vineyard you have built together. Also share the things your spouse does that really make you feel loved and valued.
Have you taken time this week to write out a grocery list? How about a to-do list? Have you planned a vacation? Perhaps you found some free time to read the newspaper or the newest best seller. All of these things seem important, but that’s it – they are just things. Things are not important, people are. Make sure that you are investing in people this week, especially in the one who married you!
Lord, may you bless the marriage of each person who reads this devotion. Open lines of communication. Draw them closer to you and closer as a couple. Help them to remember what they love most about each other and give them the opportunity to share. I know there are many out there watching their marriages crumble. You and you alone have the power to revive a dying marriage. I ask that you give hope to the hopeless. Nothing is impossible with you. Amen.