Prayer of a Desperate Housewife

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the piles of clothes that need to be washed. I know we are blessed with much. Thank you that the washing machine works. The piles of clothes needing to be folded and put away are a testament to that. I praise you for the ring around the bathtub and shower. It proves we wash regularly and usually smell good. We also have running water – running hot water, for that matter – with which to take a shower.

You are a mighty God to provide us with a dishwasher. It always needs to be emptied and reloaded because you have given us much to eat. Speaking of much to eat, I praise you for the bathroom scales that often make me frown. I should know that the numbers prove how much – oh, how much – you provide.

I am also thankful for the run-down Hoover vacuum cleaner, Lord. It may smell like smoke when I vacuum, but it picks up the dirt so I don’t have to. And you know what? If I didn’t have a house, I wouldn’t have anything to vacuum. The homeless don’t spend Fridays vacuuming out their boxes. Thank you for my home.

God, I especially thank you for the messy playroom. The My Little Ponies and the Hotwheels prove you have blessed me with children – as well as the sticky hand prints on the fridge, the over abundance of crumbs under the kitchen table, the candy wrappers on the floor by the little Ninja Turtle couch, and the bicycle in the middle of the driveway. I praise you for all of that.

Lord, help me to be always mindful of everything you have provided. You are truly an awesome God. I am going out on a faithful limb, Lord. I’m even going to praise you in advance for the understanding husband who will come home and kiss me even though I didn’t get to use the washing machine you gave me, the old run-down Hoover, or even utilize the shower with the soap scum. Thank you Lord that he’ll love me even when the kids hair hasn’t been brushed, and dinner is not on the table. I know that Godly man will love me anyway. Thank you for him.

Amen.